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Perhaps his ears were too full of locker room banter.
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I said, “No.” I said, “Stop.” I tried pushing him away. When I was fifteen I was date raped at summer camp by a boy I had a crush on. I pretended I was okay, but I tried to kill myself not long after that. How had this happened? Had he started listening to locker room banter? This man had known me since I was nine - he had two daughters. It took twenty years and much therapy before I could tell her the full story, before I could admit it even to myself. I told my mother only that he had propositioned me, not anything else. I went to school the next day, sitting in class like nothing happened. He told me it was “safe” to have sex with him - he’d had a vasectomy and wouldn’t get me pregnant. He sat on my bed, ran his hand under the covers and put his fingers up inside me. My mother’s boyfriend came into my room to say goodnight. The second time I was kissed I was twelve or thirteen. I was reading Beverly Cleary books and wishing I could be a horse.ĭo you think he had been listening to locker room banter? I don’t know why he thought he could do this. He lifted me up by my armpits, sat me on the kitchen counter, leaned over me and slid his tongue into my mouth. The first man who kissed me when I didn’t want him to was the boyfriend of my babysitter. With many other options available for gay men to meet each other, Gershen Kaufman, a professor emeritus of psychology at Michigan State University and author of the book "Coming Out of Shame," said public cruising is practiced mainly by deeply closeted men.The Record's Jeannie Yandel speaks with Tara Weaver about her experiences with sexual assault. The 35-year veteran police chief said he believed this sort of activity took place "in every jurisdiction" and heard stories of "off-duty officers and even judges being caught and arrested." The public has a right to enter public areas without worrying about inadvertently seeing lewd acts, Gregson said. Most officers know the difference between an intentional signal and a stray motion," he said. They rely on their own knowledge and experience to tell what is happening. "Police officers will investigate areas that have known histories of this sort of activity. Police officers, for the most part, only investigate an area after members of the public have complained about it being used for sex, said Rich Gregson, executive director of the California Peace Officers Association. Today, Craig denied being gay and said he made a mistake by pleading guilty. Griffith said that officers involved in such stings tend to be young and that anecdotal posts on his site indicate the local arrest rates increase around the time of elections or when media attention focuses on the issue. They may be meeting in public locations, but they will be as discreet as possible," Griffith said.Ĭruising areas traditionally have been those parts of town "women and children are told to avoid," but through word of mouth, bathrooms at places like Wal-Mart or Home Depot can become cruising locales, he said. The vast majority have no interest in being seen. They will see each other and usually decide to go someplace else. "They will usually go to the stall at the far end of the strip of toilets. "Tapping of the foot is pretty standard for men who cruise in toilets," said Keith Griffith, owner of, a Web site on which visitors post locations popular with men looking for anonymous sex.
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In an effort to curb lewd acts in public - or as some gays argue, in an effort to persecute gay men - undercover police began sting operations in places known for sex soliciting and employed the same codes. Over time, people familiar with cruising told, gay men began using a codified system of signals to indicate to others that they were interested in sex. Public places like men's restrooms, in airports and train stations, truck stops, university libraries and parks, have long been places where gay and bisexual men, particularly those in the closet, congregate in order to meet for anonymous sex.
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Craig told reporters today that he did nothing inappropriate and said his guilty plea was a mistake. Those actions led to Craig's arrest by Detective Dave Karsnia and the senator's guilty plea to a disorderly conduct charge. Larry Craig, R-Idaho, in a men's restroom at the Minneapolis airport for allegedly looking to engage in gay sex wrote in his June report that he "recognized a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct."Ĭraig tapped his foot up and down and swiped his hand underneath the bathroom stall in which the undercover cop was sitting, according to the police report. 28, 2007 - While many Americans may only be vaguely familiar with the idea of "cruising," there is a secret world of sex between men that exists in public places across the country.